First impressions are indeed based on appearance. We can never get past this. The handshake you give. The eye contact that you make with a prospective client, student, customer, employer, employee, friend, roommate, lover, etc. Your body vitality or magnetism or charisma, whatever you call it, is also a part of who you are and the personality that you exude when first meeting someone.
Be genuinely interested in your clients, customer or even co-workers. NO cheap flattery just to make an impression or get ahead. Take an interest in other people and their work, business or profession. Remember again the Golden Rule - if you want people to be interested in you then you need to take an interest in other people.
To develop an attractive personality select those whose character (or qualities) you respect and with to emulate. Imagine yourself with their character and qualities and then visualize yourself becoming like this person.
Each day, find at least one person to praise about something, but be genuine. Get into the habit of looking for and finding the good qualities in others. By finding something good about someone you help them to possibly see the good things in you also.
Using affirmation, speak the affirmation that states the desired qualities you have to develop an attractive personality. This speaking sets into motion the Universal vibration through which these qualities will begin to develop in your subconscious.
One of the best qualities to develop, according to Hill, to have an attractive personality is the ability to speak. (Note to self to watch The King's Speech.) Speech and the way that you express yourself also expresses your personality. Fluency of speech is the ability to speak correctly and is something to be developed.
Another aspect of our personality is the way that we dress and in order to obtain our definite purpose, we need to dress "as if". Now, I'm not saying go out and buy expensive items but at the very least you can "dress of success" at the level that you can afford. My daughters and I make a habit of shopping the sales racks in retail stores and also go to the Salvation Army and Goodwill or consignment stores. You would be amazed at the number of name brand or designer clothes that can be had at these places for just a fraction of their original cost. And it very good condition.
Now I am not saying that certain brands or better than others or that you need to dress against your personality. What I am saying is that in many cases in order to achieve your definite purpose, you may need to make some concessions to first get to that place. Many time once you get there and have made your mark, you will be able to bring your own personality to that place. I also find it hard for someone who does not have the existing personality for a certain profession to change completely for a new profession. But then again, if you want something bad enough.
Napoleon Hill summarized the following as the chief factors of an attractive personality:
Interest yourself in others and speak to them of their good qualities
Develop the ability to speak with force and conviction in both conversation and public speaking.
Clothe yourself in a style become to you and the work you do.
Develop a positive character
Learn how to shake hands to express warmth of feeling and enthusiasm
Attract other people to you by first attracting yourself to them
Remember that your only limitation, within reason, is the one you set up in your own mind.
You will develop the art of being agreeable - you will end up doing business with people you like.
Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody. - B. Franklin